Life Success
For Students With Learning Disabilities:
A Parent Guide

Proactivity

Not surprisingly, therefore, successful persons with learning disabilities also believe that they have the power to control their own destiny and affect the outcome of their lives. In talking about how he took charge of his college experience, one successful adult remarks:

"I actually didn't take classes as much as I took professors. The way I got through college was I looked at the classes I was interested in and I was over at the professors' office times telling them I'm going to need extra time; give me the ability to take the written exam orally. There are a bunch of exceptions and I just listed them out for these people."

This quote demonstrates the kind of creative self-advocacy and initiative we frequently observed in successful adults. In contrast, unsuccessful individuals tend merely to respond to events and are passive.

Successful persons with learning disabilities also show the ability to make decisions and act upon those decisions. Additionally, they assume responsibility for their actions and resulting outcomes. In talking about how his shyness interfered with trying to meet a girl, one successful adult shares:

"I looked at that lesson and said, 'OK, you blew it that time. What are you going to do? How are you going to overcome that situation?' So I systematically started working on getting over my shyness . . . And last spring . . . "

When things don't work out, successful individuals generally take responsibility for the outcome and do not blame others. Commenting on his career, the same individual expresses commitment to action, "Anything I'm going to do, I'm going to give it my all. Otherwise I'm not going to touch it."

A willingness to consult with others while making decisions is also characteristic of successful people with learning disabilities. In that connection, they also appear to be flexible in considering and weighing options. For instance, when faced with a career-ending knee surgery, one successful athlete was able to smoothly shift her career focus to a pottery business. Another individual whose learning disability prevented him from passing required college courses, researched and transferred to a university that did not require those courses for graduation.

In contrast, unsuccessful individuals often do not recognize that situations can be altered, or that multiple solutions may exist. Instead, they are either passive, making no decision, or conversely, stick rigidly to a simplistic, rule-based decision even if it ultimately fails. Successful individuals, on the other hand, take responsibility for both the positive and negative outcomes of their decisions and actions. For example, one former student commenting on his success stated:

"I think that I worked hard and I made choices instead of letting things happen. I mean stuff that I haven't actively gone and taken care of are the only things that I'm not as satisfied with. The stuff that I've gone and taken care of, I'm very happy with."

Next: Perseverance >>