Life Success
For Students With Learning Disabilities:
A Parent Guide

Conclusion

Research has shown that a set of personal characteristics, attitudes, and behaviors can help lead persons with learning disabilities to successful life outcomes. Unfortunately, we often concentrate our efforts primarily on academic/educational areas, paying little attention to the development of these attributes in persons with learning disabilities.

Noting the importance of these attributes in promoting positive life outcomes, it is reasonable to direct greater efforts toward fostering the development of these success attributes, at least to the same degree that we strive to improve academic skills. If we remind ourselves that research has shown that learning disabilities persist into adulthood, and that children with learning disabilities must ultimately function in settings beyond school, the importance of enhancing these attributes becomes more apparent. This shift in focus is by no means intended to undermine the importance of developing academic skills in children with learning disabilities. Rather, our intention is to emphasize the importance of developing success attributes in addition to, or alongside academic skills. Although the extent to which these attributes can be taught to, or learned by students with learning disabilities, is not completely clear, we do know that they are critical to attaining life success.

Fostering the success attributes is one of the ways that parents can help their children with learning disabilities grow up to be more successful throughout their lives. These attitudes, behaviors, and characteristics require exercise, practice, and review just like any other skill children learn. At different life stages, new developmentally appropriate challenges may require parents to recycle and revisit with their children the success attributes they had worked on earlier.

Examples from the successful adult, Vanessa, may help illustrate this point. Vanessa's mother had to work hard on her daughter's self-awareness during the early stages of identification of her learning disability. "Strength and weakness language" was prevalent in family discussions with often-tearful Vanessa as she navigated the academic challenges of elementary and middle school. Proactivity was the topic of long summer afternoons between seventh and eighth grade, as Vanessa's mother helped her actively set social dates with potential girlfriends who might otherwise pass her by over the summer. These times were often stressful, since Vanessa had difficulty reading the sophisticated social cues of teenage girls at slumber parties. Over time, she and her mother settled on some successful stress-reduction coping strategies to employ in these situations.

In high school, after a couple of failed cashiering jobs at popular teenage clothing stores, Vanessa's father helped her take stock of what type of employment would be more suitable for her, given her learning disability and her strengths, weaknesses, and interests. As a result, Vanessa set an attainable goal of getting a job at a local preschool working with children. This proved to be a good niche for her in high school, and later shaped the direction of her college studies and, ultimately, her career as an adult. Getting into the state college was a great accomplishment for Vanessa and her parents, but failing the writing proficiency exam was a huge blow to Vanessa's academic self-confidence. Her mother helped her revisit perseverance and support networks, and Vanessa also sought the advice of a college counselor, who helped her get into an English proficiency class at the local junior college over the summer. She struggled, didn't give up, and passed!

At times, the challenges children like Vanessa face growing up with learning disabilities are too great for them and their parents. In those instances, whenever in the life course they may arise, families may need help from appropriate counselors, therapists, and learning disability specialists. Several of the organizations listed in the Resource section at the back of this guide, along with their state and local affiliates, may be helpful in locating appropriate support and services. Raising a child with learning disabilities is hard, persistent work. It can dominate family life and be stressful for parents, as well as siblings. Don't hesitate to get help for yourselves, as well as extended family members.

On a final note, it turns out that children growing up with learning disabilities appreciate all that parents do for them during the difficult years, whether they ever say thank you or not. We close with a few quotes from adult study participants expressing the gratitude they feel toward their parents as they reflect back on their lives from age 35.

"My mom was the one to come in and talk to teachers, principals. . . . She was always the one to take me around and stay there with me. I can imagine it was, at times, stressful for her, but I never felt it."

"My father really cared. He wanted me to have the best. And he did. He made sure of that. [He] always gave me the self confidence and self-esteem that I lacked in myself. He made me feel that I was able to do anything I wanted to do."

Such quotes demonstrate the appreciation the participants in our study expressed for the sacrifices their mothers and fathers made on their behalf and underscore the impact their parents' efforts have had on their developing into successful, personally fulfilled adults, despite challenges along the way.

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